I’m so excited to team up with Whitney for today’s post about quiet time. Whitney is a Licensed Professional Counselor and specializes in seeing young adult women and children. From the time that Whitney and I connected on Instagram, I’ve always had a feeling that we would be fast friends in real life, too. She is so full of kindness and wisdom, and her voice messages always bring me a smile and a giggle. Whitney’s sweet Lily is three years old, and I’m pretty convinced she could have her own reality show – the girl is a hoot. She’s also a champion sleeper, so Whitney has significantly more successful practice of quiet time than I do! Be sure to head over to Whitney’s post to read about her thoughts and resources for quiet time, too!
It’s not secret that my boys are not inherently good sleepers. It has taken a good amount of work, consistency, and adjustment when necessary for each of them to sleep as much and as well as possible, even when they were infants. We worked with the Well Rested Baby to establish healthy sleep habits for both of our boys, which was particularly important for Jacob as we navigating his first few months and he had lots of sleep interruptions because of his belly and feeding troubles. The disrupted sleep that came with Jacob’s first few months also, inevitably, affected TJ’s sleep habits, too. It wasn’t long before we were all so exhausted that his naps were more of an overtired battle of the wills, and they stopped for good when he about 2-and-a-half.
While TJ doesn’t take naps anymore (unless he’s really exhausted or not feeling well), we have tried to make quiet time part of his daily routine. It took a while to get the hang of it and find things that would keep him entertained, and we’ve had to make some adjustments as he’s gotten a little older, but there are some benefits to it that I’ve come to appreciate more as he’s gotten older as well:
– One-on-one time: I was fortunate to have lots of one-on-one time with each of the boys during Jacob’s first few months. TJ was 18 months old when Jacob was born, and we had transitioned him to one nap the month before in an effort to prepare. I spent a lot of quality time with TJ while Jacob was a sleepy newborn, in addition to all of the middle-of-the-night quality time with Jacob. Since TJ has started doing quiet time, it has allowed me to spend individual time with Jacob if he happens to be awake during that time, just like I do with TJ while Jacob naps. One of the things I have struggled with the most frequently in transitioning from one child to two children is feeling like I’m giving them each the attention they deserve, and quiet time has been really helpful for that.
– A refresh for Mama: Motherhood is exhausting. Motherhood to two toddlers is exhaustion like I’ve never experienced, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Since my boys are early risers, I’m not as good at getting up to start my day in my own time as I would like to be. Quiet time has become a good time for me to rest and reset as much as TJ. Whether I use the time to catch up on the dishes that have piled up, scroll through social media, or nothing at all, event just 20-30 minutes of my own time in the afternoon allows me to be a more rested and present mother through the rest of the hours of the day.
– Teaching independent play: Since we are so fortunate to have in-home childcare on the days that Tim and I are both working, TJ is home the majority of the time and relies on us and Jacob for his playmates. Having quiet time has allowed him to really develop his independent play skills, and I love hearing his little imagination at work through the monitor.
– Sensory break: During a day full of monster truck crashing, singing and dancing to Blippi, and playing outside while we still can, it’s easy for a three-year-old to become so overwhelmed that the 4:00 hour becomes pretty unraveled. Quiet time, while not completely sensory stimulation-free, has been important in giving TJ a bit of a break from all of the lights, sounds, and sensory input of his typical day. I always try to remind myself that I feel touched out by lunchtime, so he must need a bit of downtime, too.
Resources for quiet time
– Bean Bag chair: TJ’s bean bag chair has been one of the best things for getting him to stay in his room during quiet time. When we first started quiet time, he didn’t want to stay on his bed because he thought he would have to fall asleep, and the floor isn’t comfortable for 45-60 minutes, so we go this bean bag chair and it’s just comfy but not bed-like enough to convince a very busy preschool to sit as still as possible
– Hatch Light: I initially purchased the Hatch light when Jacob moved into his room but was still nursing overnight. The light was dim enough that I could turn it on using the red color, and he wouldn’t fully wake up. Using it for quiet time has been great because it can change light after a certain amount of time. We’ve used it to teach TJ that while the light is red, he should stay in his room unless he needs help or needs to go potty, and he can come out when it turns green. It also has a variety of white noise sounds that you can choose from to play on the same timer.
– Books: There are quite a few books we’ve been using to keep TJ entertained during quiet time. My best friend got TJ this amazing I Spy style book for his birthday, and he’s been obsessed ever since. He also loves the Melissa & Doug reusable sticker books – and I love that I can trust he’s not sticking stickers all over his furniture while he’s in his room!
– Fidget Toys: Sometimes, as much as I would love books to be enough, TJ needs more than just books to stay quiet. This set of fidget toys has been great for quiet time and to throw in my bag for our few short outings where he might not be able to sit still. TJ is definitely a sensory kid – the more sensory input the better – and he loves building things, so these fidget toys in particular work really well for him.
There are a lot of days that, despite our best efforts, quiet time doesn’t work or doesn’t last as long as I would like it to. On those days, we adjust bedtime accordingly and reset our afternoon plans if we need to. That’s something that I’ve really worked on during my own experience of motherhood – adjusting plans – and it’s something I’ll keep working on! Shop all the posts from this post through Like to Know It and be sure to Pin this post for later, too!
Happy napping and resting!
xo,
Stephanie
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