It’s been just about seven weeks since Jacob joined our family, and every day has been a different adventure. While I was so looking forward to meeting Jacob and seeing our family grow, there were quite a few things I was anxious and nervous about, too.
How would recovery from a c-section be with a toddler? How would TJ adjust to life with his little brother? How would I handle both boys alone when Tim went back to work? Will I be able to dedicate enough time to each of them?
Despite these worries, the biggest thing I tried to focus on was not comparing Jacob and our first few days/week together to that part of TJ’s life. I think it’s an easy thing to do, especially when children are close in age, to make these types of comparisons, but I wanted to be sure Jacob had his own “clean slate” coming into this world.
That being said, TJ and Jacob could not be more different babies! Breastfeeding with TJ was a huge challenge – so much so, that I wound up choosing to exclusively pump for him before we left the hospital (more on that later…). Jacob latched on right away and has been a dream of a breastfeeding baby. TJ never liked his bassinet, cried whenever we swaddled him, and immediately took to a pacifier. Jacob loves sleeping swaddled in his bassinet and wants absolutely nothing to do with a pacifier.
In addition to their preferences, their personalities are so different, too. TJ has always been high-energy, independent, curious, and definitely on the louder side (ha). Jacob is a very laid back and snuggly baby and, honestly, seems totally unbothered by all of the toddler-induced chaos going on around him at all times.
While it’s only been seven weeks and I’m definitely still figuring this whole mom of two thing out, here are a few things I’ve learned so far:
- Everyone will adjust.
It’s going to take some time, and there will be moments when it feels like it’s going to be chaos forever, but there will be a new and manageable sense of normal for everyone involved. - Recovering from delivery with a toddler is hard….really hard.
I can only speak to recovering from a c-section, but it was definitely more challenging this time around trying to be patient and give my body the time it needs to heal. TJ would be crying for me to pick him and he didn’t understand why I couldn’t but he saw me holding Jacob, and that broke my heart every day. But, we found work-arounds like sitting in my lap and ways for TJ to be involved with his little brother and that really seemed to help. - The “witching hour” lasts way longer than an hour with two kids.
I’ve recently started referring to 5-7:30pm in our house as “the thunderdome”. Jacob wants to cluster feed and be held, TJ needs to eat dinner, take a bath, and get ready for bed, Tim and I need to eat something to keep from fainting, the dogs need to be fed and let out, and there aren’t enough hands to get it all done at the same time. Babywearing has made this time of day much easier for me, especially when Tim is at work and I’m in the thunderdome solo. - Schedules will fluctuate, and it’s ok.
Before Jacob was born, TJ was on a pretty regular routine of dinner at 5:30, bath at 6, and in bed by 7:30. Since Jacob was born, we’ve had quite a few nights that TJ has seen 9pm, skipped naps, and pizza for dinner. Six months ago, I would’ve been beside myself that he was “off schedule”, but I’m learning that he’s more adaptable than I gave him credit for and I think he’s appreciated the special treats as we all find our way in this new normal. - Two times the children equals four time the laundry.
This math still does not add up to me, but it’s true. All. The. Laundry. - Watching your children love each other will be the greatest joy you could ever imagine.
TJ runs down the hallway every morning looking for Jacob as soon as he wakes up, and my heart could honestly explode and I could cry every single time. I’m so looking forward to our boys growing up together so close in age.
I am by no means an expert, and I’m very much still figuring this whole two kids thing out, but I can honestly say that I’m pleasantly surprised by how much more seamless the adjustment from one to two kids has felt than adjusting to a first baby. I’m looking forward to sharing more of what we learn along the way!
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